Letter to my Mother about Music

Recently, my mother sent me a long email asking me "Why, when you spend so much time making and studying music, dont you go to college so you can someday get a job in the music field". This was my response. I love my mom!


Dear Mom,

Thanks mom. You are right. I am wrong...in a traditional sense. But, there are some people in life who go about things in a different way than the norm...and thats what makes them different from the norm. This is very true when it comes to art. Receiving all your information from a teacher...especially in music...(a person who obviously failed as a musician, or had a different drive to become a teacher rather than a striving artist) has its down falls. These people (in my mind) obviously failed somewhere along the lines...because musicians have one love and one love only....music. Thats it. We do music, study music, play music, because we LOVE IT. Thats it. And in music, creativity and breaking barriers is the key. If my goal was to settle down and record bands for some job my whole life, then yes, it would be a great idea....but I have one dream in life....to make music, and maybe make a living doing it...on my own terms. I want to push the envelope of sound through the 21st century...and enjoy it the whole way through. As long as I have food, shelter, and love....I can live...but even more importantly, I need music.

So many people who do this...plan to be rock stars. They have already lossed...in the music world. Music is deeper than this, it is a fuel that runs in your blood. Sound in its basic form triggers my senses and heightens my thinking. Just thinking of a reverb coming off of a wall as a car passes, or the attack and decay sound of a pencil dropping, or the distance it takes and echo to hit a wall and return to me....these are the things I love and think about....and try to apply them to my understanding of sound. I want to be able to harness these natural phenomenons and reuse them in music. This is why I have been working in dance music, because the boundaries are way past that of rock or pop (guitars, drums, etc)...I work with synthesis, logarithms to control sound dynamics, and music theory to piece it all together.

This may sound sick and twisted...but I would rather be dead...than not pursue my dream. This is why I always say I dont want children, and also why I put every penny into my studio and in having the right tools and books I need to do it.

College would only slow down my progress with pointless essays and wasted hours. As it is, I get 6-8 hours of studio time in everyday....go to work....and then I get to study for another 2 hours when I come home. This has been the same cycle for the last year....and its getting heavier and heavier the deeper I get into it.

There are many people who say they do music, think they do music....but mom... I DO MUSIC. Period. This is not some teenage dream of becoming famous or something.

Im glad you care, and you are doing what a good mother should do to make sure that her son has a successful life in this normal world....but your son is not normal...and maybe is a little bit crazy....and definitely crazy about sound.

I have gotten the nickname as FroBot mad scientist...because whenever anyone has a question about music or sound, I can usually answer it. My blog is receiving SO many emails daily...and I try to help as many other people as I can to spread the knowledge. Again, none of this other stuff matters at all....as all I want to do is push technology to its limits, and understand sound. Oh yea, and enjoy listening to it.

I was given this gift from dad, from a young age....and he created a monster. Sorry, but there is no turning back....and even if there was...I wouldnt!

But I love you for caring!